


Creatures of the Night

by calliopes_pen



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-02
Updated: 2007-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11548989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calliopes_pen/pseuds/calliopes_pen
Summary: Nightwing interrupts something, and sparks fly.  Not necessarily in that order.





	Creatures of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bozaloshtsh, for JBBS.

It was a dark and stormy night...or it _would_ have been, Nightwing noted, if it wasn't merely a steady drizzle at sunset that was occasionally punctuated by loudly croaking frogs, and a few chirping crickets. _Dracula was wrong--the children of the night **don’t** provide sweet music. _

As it was, it was merely dusk as the masked man arrived and swiftly entered the Titans Towers. It had been a while since he had popped in there, and he missed a few of his old friends. _Would have gotten here sooner if **someone** hadn’t decided to hold up a couple of cops._ In the strangest event so far that night, a thief--who was obviously high--decided to hold up a pair of undercover cops in _the rain_ while simultaneously screaming about the underprivileged. Dick had watched, incredulously, as the plainclothes officers merely held up their own weapons in defense.

He himself had swung in and hidden behind a nearby dumpster just in case something unforeseen were about to occur. Instead, the thief had begun sobbing incoherently and surrendered. Satisfied that things were under control, he had simply gone to stop a random mugging elsewhere.

_**Man**...should have just gone straight to the Tower. At least the leg’s healed well enough that I can practice in the gym with the dummy. And Gar._

With a shake of his head, Nightwing brought himself back to the present, where he was currently entering the Titans Towers through a door...for once. It felt strange for him, as he had become used to surprising people by venturing to arrive through a window. _I’ve been in this business almost **too** long._

Just as the young hero was preparing to visit the gym and wait for the others to get back from whatever mission they were on, Dick heard the muffled sounds of a thud--and was that a squeak of some sort?

Dick Grayson really wished that he had X-Ray vision at times such as this. It would be worth it to just be able to X-Ray all through the Tower like Superman and know _exactly_ where and what the threat was. He pulled a very sharp Wing-Ding out of his belt and placed it in one hand, and one of his escrima sticks in the other.

_For all I know The Joker escaped for the ten billionth time and came **here** instead of going after Batman._

Being very alert to the slightest sound—from a drip from a leaky faucet _(I should fix that.)_ and, slightly beyond that, to the sound of a television that someone forgot to turn off at some point.

And, as he continued through the darkened Titans Tower, he could just make out muffled voices. And creaking sounds. _Someone managed to break in? Or is it just one of the others? Can’t take any chances--I would rather act now than let the Tower get destroyed or damaged **again**._

Carefully bringing his escrima sticks into a position where he would be ready for anything that threatened to jump out of the shadows, he threw open the door. What came next would be burned into his retinas forever, as Nightwing shrieked, **“Tim?!”**

Rose Wilson, also known as Ravager and Tim Drake, also known as Robin--having sex. Or they _were._

**“Nightwing!** Oh, God... _move,_ Rose, for Heaven’s sake!” With a rapidity that might have stunned one of the Flashes, Tim and Rose managed to halt their sex games. To Dick’s slight amusement mixed with horror, Tim practically tossed Rose to the other side of the bed. She grunted and glared for a second, before shifting her look to Dick himself and then back to Tim. Her shifting positions provided him with a great view.

_Is that whipped cream on her ch--don’t look, Dick! DON’T LOOK! You have a possible girlfriend and she might be watching!_

Still stunned by the interruption and thus not noticing Nightwing’s attempt to look at everything except the two of them, Tim carefully arranged a sheet over his privates. Who knew the younger crime fighter could blush like that? Rose didn’t seem to be nearly as embarrassed as most people would be, as she merely lifted herself up and rested her head on her hand with a glare. She was obviously a bit miffed at having “playtime” interrupted.

After a long moment of panicked glances being exchanged, along with what may have been the most awkward silence in human history, Tim came to himself and calmly stated “It’s not what it looks like!” Well, as calmly as could be expected for one who has just been caught naked and in a compromising position. In this case, despite being trained by Batman, it was practically a screech of terror.

Still a bit horrified by what he had caught the two of them in the middle of, Dick said the first thing that came to mind. “If you say you were doing the naked version of the Time Warp, then you're in bigger trouble than you realize, little bro!” He briefly ran his hands over his face and through his hair as the statement made even scarier mental images flood through his mind. Scarecrow’s fear gas had nothing on this!

Visibly sagging in humiliation, Tim just sat down on the edge of the bed--ignoring Rose’s attempts to start things up again--and put his hands over his face. With a sigh, he said, “All right, so it's exactly what it looks like.”

"Promise not to tell Br..." He glanced furtively at Rose for a second and quickly amended his statement before he finished with "Batman?" The need to conceal identities was still strong in this one. Even if Slade and Rose _already_ knew, it was just second nature.

“Put on your pants and come into the hallway and I’ll think about it.”

While Nightwing’s mind was still reeling from the sight of... _things_ , it would seem that his training from Batman was enabling the former Boy Wonder to gather himself at a speedier rate than most normal people. The only thing that could make that go any faster would be a huge meal courtesy of Alfred.

_Maybe I should swing by later… **after** this mess is fixed. Wait...is **Tim** due for turning evil next?! Is this some sort of demented pattern? His eyes aren’t glowing, and that rules out possession... **argh**! Get ahold of yourself, Grayson!_

Shoving that moment of complete and utter hysteria out of his mind with the stubbornness that comes with being a member of the Batclan, Nightwing took a deep breath and decided to wait for Tim to get out of that room. Wait...was that _his_ room? _They broke my bed! Deep breaths, Grayson. **Deep** breaths!_

Suddenly, feeling a finger carefully tap his shoulder, Dick turned around to see Tim standing there and looking at him with the air of a Robin preparing to go battle the worst supervillains in the history of Gotham City. It would have been formidable had the younger hero not only been wrapped in a sheet. Upon registering that little fact, Dick raised an eyebrow. Tim replied with a quiet shrug, and a mumbled, “Couldn’t find my pants.”

He sounded mortified, and the feeling was mutual. After a moment of staring at him, and wondering how one could lose one’s dark red pants like that, a shout of “ _I_ know where they are, Robin!” came from within. Rose’s long rumpled white-haired head popped out for a minute, threw the pants at Tim--who dropped the sheet to catch the aforementioned clothing--and smirked. She said, in her most seductive tone, “Sorry--I ripped them a bit in my hurry to...get them off.”

And with that, she left them to have a little man-to-man chat. _Slade’s daughter. How would Bruce handle this? No, that won’t help--there would be screaming and brooding. How would Alfred handle this?_

_Unfortunately,_ the still-masked, yet very perturbed man couldn’t possibly grab them both by the ear and lecture them on the error of their ways. Or _could_ he? Nah, he couldn’t.

Leaning against the wall, Nightwing waved at Tim and Rose (who had apparently decided they didn’t _need_ privacy after all), and asked the only thing he could think of. “How did... _this_...happen?” Rose started to open her mouth, and Nightwing made a time out gesture. “I want _him_ to tell me.” After a moment of hesitation from Tim, he sighed.

“No, wait, let me guess. Sex pollen?”

Tim nodded.

After a moment of realization, Dick pointed at Rose. “Was _she_ affected, too?”

Both shook their heads negatively simultaneously--Rose had more of a smirk than a look of guilt on her face, however. Upon seeing a look of outrage flash across Dick’s face, Tim jumped in quickly with a raised hand in an unneeded attempt to draw back attention.

“That didn’t come out right...I _had_ planned on eventually seeing her. Once I made sure to update any protocols about her likes and dislikes and rate her sanity level.” After a moment’s pause, he added, “She _had_ tried to seduce me in the kitchen before Poison Ivy decided to take a brief stroll through San Francisco. And earlier while I dressed. And briefly as I walked in the door...I wanted to add that to my files, but...well...you know the rest. Giant vines spurting things and...well...sex pollen.”

When Rose and Dick only stared at the younger male--each for different reasons--he tried to defend himself. “What? Like _you_ don’t have protocols, _too_!”

Nightwing couldn’t really add anything to that, except making a mental note that Tim was _still_ a creepy little kid--but one who would soon become a creepy adult. Tim was just like Batman in this case. He just shook his head for a moment, before returning with “I do--but not on my girlfriend’s favorite sexual positions!”

Tim blushed, and briefly took on the infamous thousand yard stare that was common among both soldiers and many among the hero set. Rose snickered...and Nightwing just looked to the ceiling in a silent entreaty and prayed with all his might that Oracle didn’t happen to have any hidden cameras in the room to catch that statement. _Does Dickcam play 24 hours a day? Do I **really** want to know?_ The older hero had to do a bit of spin control and fast!

“Okay...forget that last part, guys. Back to Rose--you like her. I assume you know she’s Slade’s _daughter_! I helped _train_ her, _remember_? She doesn’t seem quite as crazy as she did at the time, as she hasn’t acted on any strange Daddy Issues as far as I know-- _not **one** word_ , either of you!--but you never know.”

Tim and Rose looked at each other for a moment. Dick had the feeling something was being planned for him, but he couldn’t say _what_. If this was Roy, he would be on the lookout for a bucket of water above the door, but it was _Tim_. He didn’t **do** pranks.

Finally breaking the silence, while looking at Rose, Tim asked, “Hungry?”

Rose’s face had one of the most wicked smirks that either two young men had ever seen. Draping across Tim for a moment, she whispered into his ear, “Very...but what about _dessert_?”

Tim let a timid grin--foreign to him--reach his lips. That was followed by a look that made Nightwing briefly wonder if there wasn’t still some traces of sex pollen in his system. “Dessert? I’ll _think_ about it...but we need some more whipped cream, don’t you think?”

_Suspicion confirmed_ , Nightwing thought with a grimace. The turning of the conversation was beginning to scare Nightwing, but he refused to admit it to them. That’s what they wanted...to scare him into surrendering, so that they could have the Towers to themselves again.

Turning his back on them and leading the way to the kitchen, he tried to come up with a distraction. “Come on guys-- _dinner_ , remember? Do you want some macaroni and cheese--that’s all I can cook. Definitely not food for the libido.”

He was painfully aware of the fact that, as his back had turned, they had resumed kissing...but they were somehow still following him. Rose had a disturbing combination of amusement and glee on her face. It was scary to him--of course, he preferred the girls he dated to be mostly sane, and...well...lacking the more serious Daddy Issues that _she_ had. And brainy. Couldn’t forget brainy.

Nightwing was losing this battle, but _oh_ , what _glorious_ blackmail material he would have once Tim came to his senses.

_Correction--the battle is **lost**_ , he thought with a bit of amusement--but mostly horror--as he crooked his head around the corner just in time to see them topple to the ground and resume their lovemaking.

And with that, Nightwing decided it was time to leave while he still could. He wasn’t looking to have a threesome...not now, and most definitely not with _them_. Besides, maybe Alfred was still awake and could spare a hot meal.

Sparing one last glance behind him, he couldn’t help but think of that Dracula line again.

Those two were **really** creatures of the night.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to SeanDC and Sharpest_asp for beta reading.


End file.
